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Attracting The Right Partner (Being Yourself Fully!!) – LoveExpanded Challenge 148

For all you mystical people out, or you with particular gifts, and are disappointed you are not finding someone compatible or on your vibration, this video is just what you were looking for.

Attracting The Right Partner

For more of these be sure to subscribe on YouTube to watch daily. 

Love, love, love

Salenta

BALANCING POLARITY IN RELATIONSHIPS – Masculine vs Feminine Energy | LoveExpanded 137

BALANCING POLARITY IN RELATIONSHIPS – Masculine vs Feminine Energy | LoveExpanded 137

Let’s get first things straight – masculine and feminine energy have nothing to do with gender!! But it has everything to do with balancing polarity in relationships.

Cultivating both of these energies within you, gaining maturity in both energies, allows you to play with a full toolset of both the creative (feminine) and the implementation (masculine) enriches and builds a successful life.

It allows you to draw on the strengths of both, being firm but flexible, being logical and confident, but open and reciptice to new ideas. The play between these two forces in your life is constant from the moment you wake up to the time you go to sleep again. Being aware of how each influences you allows power to gain influence over yourself and understanding of your partner. You become the badass you know you are. And your relationship dynamics start to shift.

The video sums it up.

Connect to the whole LoveExpanded collection here.

If you desire to learn more about the masculine and feminine energies within you I have worked extensively the last 10 years both personally and with clients to understand and utilize/integrate this concept into their lives, I cannot begin to explain the difference even the awareness of this makes, let alone the implementation. 

Love, love, love

Salenta

Forgiveness – 3 Steps to Release the Past and Get the Relationship You Desire

Forgiveness is Key to releasing the old and letting the new in. 

 

If you find yourself in the same situation, different face, this might just be your golden ticket off the train and onto getting what you truly desire.

Find more peace, lighten up, and feel better now.

love love love

Salenta

Feel More Safe With Better Boundaries…

I write for other magazines too…  this article is published @ www.overthemoonmag.com. Start reading here and find the rest at the link.

“Until you feel safe within, nothing outside will feel safe and secure. He or she might promise you the world, and even deliver, but you will still feel insecure and want more, their offerings never being enough.

Can you relate?

Safety is your foundation. It’s the core — from here everything else is built. Only when you have this within can you feel it from others.

Safety and love go together. You tend to seek safety from love, or more like your lover. But this only holds true when applied to YOU. You feel safe when you love yourself and create good boundaries, and you do that by loving yourself.

The more you LOVE YOURSELF, the easier it is to create safety within you. The more love there is, the more safety there is.

How do you get this safety from within if someone on the outside cannot provide it to you?

Let’s first establish where safety is NOT found:

Safety is not found in gripping to what you know, or the past.

Safety is not found in… Continue Reading

Love love love

Salenta

3 Powerful Steps to Forgive the Past, and Create The Relationships You Desire.

When you hold onto the past, it is difficult to create a new reality or get different results.

This relates to relationships as well as to anything.

All this talk of creating the life you desire. This is different from attracting the life you desire, something you hear thrown around a lot. Let me clarify,  creating is you being active and taking action, this is where the real result come.

But, until your energy field is clear of the old, you will be attracting what you do not want, making it difficult to create and bring in what you do want.
What does forgiveness have to do with creating the relationship you desire?

It turns out you really do create the world around you by the vibrations and energies you emit and send out all day long. To create a different experience it is said, you have to ‘be’ different, but how do you do this?

I had a first hand experience with this, where my past was impacting my present without me even knowing it.

Let me share what I found.

First, it’s important to realize there are no secrets.

No matter how hard you try to hide, withhold, and keep down, you are a transparent being and people can SEE you NO MATTER WHAT.

They see your demons, feel them, and know they are there, even if you deny them. You carry contempt for a past lover, new lovers feel it, and it does not bide well for your new potential partnership

The more aware your crowd becomes, the more the issue of hiding just becomes laughable. People ‘feel’ what’s going on even if they don’t know ‘exactly’ what they are feeling, but they will respond accordingly.

Even the most unconscious person still see’s, unless they are choosing not to.

I’ve been through some ‘stuff’ like most people, and some of it’s not too rosy. There was some abuse in my life that I kinda just swept under the rug, not just a one time thing, but things sprinkled throughout my life. I don’t think I even really acknowledged how bad it was or how much it impacted my life, I had the rose colored glasses syndrome, or just the denial syndrome ;).

I essentially was hiding it, even from me, but it was not hidden at all. I was still vibrating it, it was still in my energy field and aside from attracting other situations into my life that hurt me also, others could consciously detect this too.

Having it still linger was influencing my NOW experience.

About a year ago I fell ill and knew it was time for an upgrade. Within two weeks, two messengers came to me, a close friend and an acquaintance, both with the same message.

Both could see and feel this abuse around me I was denying or wanted no one to know about. But they saw is, clear as day. And they could also see how me denying it was hurting me.

This was a good lesson, and opened the space for me to acknowledge, heal, clear, and move forward.

The first step, be upfront and transparent from the beginning, this means with YOU FIRST.

Second, forgiveness, and this means forgetting too.

Yes, forgiveness. And no, this is not church. But all those religions have it right because this is a universal truth. Forgiveness has a power greater than most even comprehend.

I attended an Energy Conference in Bermuda and the science of it. Dr Vitaliy, a Russian scientist has been studying energy for almost 3 decades and as he was explaining the energy fields around the body, and demonstrating on someone from the audience, he first tested and showed all the imbalances in the man’s field, then, to my surprise, as he was showing us how to bring the man back into balance, before he did anything, he asked the man to first ask himself for forgiveness. Now remember, Dr Vitaliy is a scientist, so this really surprised me!

The man did it, the Dr. tested again and suddenly just like that, the man was all balanced, nothing more needed to be done.

Miracle? Maybe, or this is just natural law at work. Forgiveness is powerful.

After identifying, forgive yourself and those who might have harmed you.

It’s in the forgiving that the magic happens, and all the shmoots can be released, just like that, instantly.

Forgiveness is as simple as telling yourself, “I forgive you.” It is important to forgive those who harmed you too.

Third, to forgive, you have to forget about the wrong. I know you have heard this before, but how do you do it?

Without forgetting the energy is still trapped, and will come back to haunt you, so to speak.

In my own process of forgiveness my mentor and friend explaining forgiveness is not complete or does not work without forgetting the wrong done.

Forgetting means not talking about it anymore, not thinking about it anymore and replacing the past negative thoughts and stories, with positive thoughts around the same person that hurt you.

When you think of that time in your life, or that person, you reprogram yourself to have good memories that bring good feelings.

By doing so you lighten up, and change the vibration around you clearing your energetic imprint of what happened.

This way you start to vibrate and radiate the good feelings instead of the hurt and wound. You clear the space for new to come in.

You clear the space to let in a fresh new love that is more supportive and loving. (This is not only effective for past lovers, but for anyone who harmed you.)

I know that sometimes you might have to dig hard to find something good, but there always is something.

Forth, the power of the word.

You create with your words. You can believe this or not, it’s still true. Gravity is going to pull down despite your belief, this concept works the same way.

Start speaking what you desire.

Only speak in terms of what you want. Stop speaking about all the sh*t that happened in the past, let go of those stories and start telling stories that describe the life and experiences you desire now.

You might contest and say this is not true, but, the more you speak it, the more it will be true.

Forgiveness means forgetting what happened. This means changing the story, let go of the old story, stop talking about what you don’t want, and start talking about what to do want.

Start speaking about your relationships in terms of what you desire most now, like it’s already happened, like you already have it.

To demonstrate just how powerful your stories are, and the energy they carry, let me tell you a brief story, no pun intended. 😉

I was on a field trip with the kids, the weekly ice-skating outing in the winter. I am still a beginner, but after about 30 min I had gotten my feet under me, and I was feeling and skating pretty well.

I started speaking about an incident in my marriage around why I stopped liking skiing with another mother. I recounted a traumatic incident and as I did so I instantly noticed my feelings change, my body became tense, a thickness developed in my thought and sternum, and to my surprise, I also noticed my skating changed dramatically for the worse.

I started skating again like I had 30 min earlier. The negative emotion brought forward by the story had not only effected how I felt in my body but my outward experience and performance too. I felt like I was going to fall down, that is how much it impacted me.

I stopped talking immediately after realizing this and started focusing on more positive things, and realized in that moment just how powerful that story was, and I decided I no longer needed that story. I no longer needed to feel so low, so overcome, and so bad.

I chose to feel good and light and limitless instead. I chose to release all those stories and recreate my memories. I was the one who created them in the first place, why not create one’s that bring me more of what I desire and made me feel powerful instead of weak.

Let’s recap.

1) There are no secrets, be honest with yourself first. Release the hurt and pain you are carrying from your past.

You are emitting the vibration of what you are hiding and it’s not hidden at all, and you are most likely still attracting similar situations to you.

2) Forgive. You are infinite and good and nothing that has happened cannot be forgiven. You are divine. You are pure.

And it is not only okay, but imperative that you allow yourself to be forgiven and forgive those you feel have harmed you.

It will change your life, your health, and what you are sending out to the world. You are worthy of good things.

3) Forget and release the negative stories. Your words are powerful creators. To change your experience and what you get back, you have to change the input.

Start speaking about what you want, and never stop.

Speak in the positive, “Please keep your clothes in your closet or in the hamper”, not the negative, “Don’t leave your clothes on the floor.”

You are powerful. You can change your life experience. You can create the relationship you desire, but there is work to be done. Creation take effort, you cannot just sit there are wait for life to happen to you.

Forgiveness is powerful, until you forgive your past lovers, it will be hard to attract, and let in, a new relationship.

Forgive your current lovers too, you might be surprised at the changes that come about once you release them.

No one wants to be with someone who is bitter and still in hate. They can feel it.

This will not only change what you create in your experience, you will also feel better, lighter, more free, more alive, more vibrant.

love love love
Salenta

ps… Please leave a comment, I would love to know your thoughts and please share experiences you have had with this, you would be surprised how much your input helps others.

Expectations Kill Relationships: A Healthier Alternative

You know expectations suck.  You don’t like them put on you.

And, I know it’s hard not to project your expectations onto someone else when you know what you want.

So, here is the alternative.

What if you can look at each experience with someone as a complete experience, nothing more and nothing less. Just see it for what it is, enjoy it, and if you never see that person again, fine, you have the beauty of it to remember and cherish always.

And, if you do happen to see that person again, it can be added to the pile of experiences with them, creating the depth and span of something great, however it looks.

love love love

Salenta

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Conscious Dating Discussion with Brandon Boucher

A discussion on dating, how to get the girl, what he did before he even met her, the balance and dance between the divine masculine and feminine, and the difference between what Partnership is vs. Relationship. ♥

Brandon listened to an interview I conducted a few months ago with Drew Gerald on Conscious Dating, after applying some of those techniques discusses Brandon connected with a beautiful women and their love and connection is now flourishing.

Brandon shares what he did and how the dynamic between two people can change when you change the way you relate first with yourself, and from the very beginning of ‘dating’.

Thank you Brandon for sharing your success story and also for the tips on what worked for you.

love love love

Salenta

PS… What did you think of this? What has been your experience with conscious dating? please share your comments below, I would love to hear from you 🙂 

Love is SACRIFICE?? How This One Belief Sabotages Love, Passion, and Intimacy in Your Relationships.

This might be a touchy subject for some; I know it was for me…not because I feel love is sacrifice, but because I feel it is the exact opposite.

This belief that ‘love is sacrifice’ leads you down a dangerous path away from yourself, validating and encouraging you to go against yourself for the other. There is nothing holy about this.

But you are taught that love is sacrifice, you hear it all the time, so how does this compute?

When you allow yourself the freedom to let down your immediate defenses, and feel into this topic or belief, what does your soul tell you? What is your spirit saying is truth for you? I invite you to open this heart space just for a moment as you read on and perhaps open to a new idea.

Does the word sacrifice make you feel light and happy, or heavy and drudging?

A while back at a social engagement I asked someone what love was to them, and they came back with “Love is sacrifice”, I nearly choked, okay I did choke. Out went all composure and pose and in came the dragon ready to consume all in my path. The flames spewed out, the talons ready to shred. This was the first time since leaving my asleep stupor that I felt so strongly and was totally overcome with conviction in a very big outward way. My reaction startled me.

The dragon of truth does not lie. Now the question is what is your truth, and are you strong enough to question a way of thinking you might have, that no longer works and is keeping you trapped in a pattern, and keeping you from true divine light and love?

Sacrificing my desires, my ideas, and myself for the other, and the idea of the union, is the exact belief that got me stuck in the first place.

This is of course the reason for my strong response and repulsion to the notion that love was sacrifice, because sacrifice does not feel loving on any level of my being. The idea of sacrifice kept me hostage for a long-time, caused lots of deviation from who I am, caused me to give all I had to everyone else in my life except me, and led to pain and suffering.

When sacrifice is put on a pedestal within a union as one of the building blocks and foundation to make the union work, deviation and misalignment arise.

That brings up another topic, suffering. Suffering is not holy either. Suffering is… well, suffering. How is this loving, how is this light. Suffering is heavy and dark and a burden. Burdens are the old way, burdens keep you so weighed down you don’t have the energy or insight to ever rise above into your true divinity and purpose.

There is another way. 

If divinity is what you seek, then divine qualities and actions will lead you there. How can a negative get you a positive? How can your suffering, sacrificing, and burden get you to love, devotion and harmony within your union? This is just not very logical; this idea is what keeps you trapped, and controlled.

These heavy qualities might get you the belief and trust in a blessed union, but they will not lead to a true divine light, authentic, deep from your soul, blessed union, where you are only there because you want to be there for you and the person you choose to be with.

When you sacrifice for the union, you feel obligated, a heavy sense of responsibility to the other that weighs heavy on your mind.

What if, instead of this sacrifice, you replaced it with a true decision in each moment to be where you are because you want to be?

You are now not obligated to anyone, but liberated in your choice to make this experience the best for you and them. There is no burden because you find joy, and a sense of blessed ownership in the union. You are now not together because a paper says you are, you are not together because you need to be your word. You are together because in this very moment, and the moment before, you decided you WANTED this for you and the other.

You decided you WANTED to serve the other. You decided that after first being in soul alignment with you, you wanted to then align with them.

Living in the now brings peace now. Living in the light now, brings divinity now.

Personally I choose the lighter side of life.

Sacrifice always implies giving something up.

One rarely gives up something without trading it for something else.

So, instead of sacrifice in love, in partnership, in relationship, and in life, how about you just choose into it all the way.

How about you make up your mind that this love you have is for your highest good and then commit yourself to the engagement of it on a moment-to-moment basis? When you are committed to the love, and act out of your and the unions highest good, in each moment then, what might look to others as sacrifice, is actually you choosing the road of growth, unity and love.

If the only thing keeping you in the love or relationship is sacrifice, then something is most likely out of alignment. Your thinking and perspective might be the biggest thing not lined up to divine truth in this scenario. Your life is just how you imagine it, so if you feel sacrifice and suffering is the norm, you probably have lots of it.

How would your relationships look if you traded sacrifice for the choice to serve within your union on a moment-to-moment basis for the good of you and them?

How would your relationship look if you never sacrificed again, but instead cooperated and trusted from a space of “if this is for my highest good, then it is in your highest good too.”?

Change your thinking change your life.

If you are sacrificing in your relationships I invite you to look at what you are sacrificing.

Why are you scarifying? Are you afraid to loose love?

Are your sacrifices keeping you in an unauthentic place in your life?

You cannot have true connection with another if you do not have true connection to yourself. If sacrifice is keeping you from this true connection to self, it is also keeping you from intimacy with your partner.

Fear keeps you stuck doing things you don’t want to, when you add love, the same situations might just look a whole lot different. When it comes to sacrifice a lot of times it is just our perspective that needs to change to create the harmony.

Love is the highest vibrations on this planet and cannot line up with lower vibrations, this is just physics. Most of what we call love is not love at all. Your expression of love must line up in the same vibrational frequency as love itself.

You sacrificing for anyone, including yourself is not in the love vibrations. The idea of sacrifice is just that, an idea. Change how you look and feel about things and the need to sacrifice disappears.

I do not sacrifice not going out on a Saturday night with my friends when I have my kids; I instead fully choose to spend that time with then. I do not sacrifice anything, I make conscious choices instead, committing to them, and feeling good about them. Love is a feel good vibration. When I fully make up my mind to choose in, I always feel good about it because it is my heart led choice, I am not doing it for someone else, but for me, and then the energy can flow freely between me and them, it is clear and pure.

When the answer “Love is sacrifice”, came my way it triggered me, in that moment it threw me back into my pain caused by the belief that I had to sacrifice myself for my union, or that to make the union work I had to sacrifice.

Fear is the opposite of love. Sacrifice is rooted in fear.

Search your feelings, assess where you are, and see what you can align in your mind and thinking to perhaps revolutionize your idea of love and how to make that love work in harmony with you and the other.

I leave you with an abundance of the highest frequency of love today. Wish you well on your journey into the light. You are light, and the return to it feels good. Follow your feelings, clearing the painful when it comes up, and being directed by the feel good promptings.

 

Love Love Love

Salenta

 

P.S. I would love to hear your opinion on this topic!! What is your experience with sacrifice?

10 Lessons Learned From the Hardest Break-up of My Life

I would see these couples who kept breaking up and getting back together again, and in my youth and ignorance I could not understand why on earth they would do this. For me it was always cut and dry, I wanted to be with someone, or I didn’t.

Then, I got this same little scenario handed to me on a golden platter so I too could learn and see why people did this.
We were together 4 years, in that time I cannot tell you how many times we broke up and got back together again. We worked hard on ourselves and the union, we learned much, we grew much and healed and blossomed, and in the end, when the lessons were learned the break-up finally stuck.

Hopefully you can learn from my pain and turmoil to save yourself some time and effort.

Here are my lessons learned.

1) You cannot make someone love you the way you want to be loved, no matter how hard you try, or how long you stick around. People will love how they love, to expect anything different is absurd. If how they authentically express does not jive with you, move on.

2) If you are monogamous and your partner is not, or the other way around, no amount of anything you do is going to make them change at their core. Love them for this, accept this and them, and then love yourself more by saying goodbye. If your partner is in love with someone else, and does not want to give the other person up for you naturally, it’s a sign, move on.

3) No matter how connected you are, how good of friends and partners you are, how much love you share and fun you have together, if the two of you do not want the same life path and have the same core values, long-term partnership is never going to work. Even if every other aspect of your life together is 100% fantastic, if your long-term goals and ambitions are opposing, its never going to work. Core values that are similar are your building blocks, if these blocks are not there, neither is the fertile ground for a healthy union.

4) A good partnership and union needs more than love. Love and connection are wonderful but just one aspect to a healthy union and cannot hold a long-term relationship alone. Living together and merging lives together needs a lot more than love, love is the icing, the sweet, the magic, but there are other aspects that need to be in place too. Similar core values again is imperative, it helps if you are spiritually aligned or respect each other for your differences without judgment or wanting to change the other, and mutual respect and honoring each other, just to name a few.

5) You are never going to change someone. NEVER. If they do not choose to change freely from their own volition, it’s never going to happen by you trying to urge it on. Accept this and love them for it, but love yourself too by moving on.

6) Do all you can to make a partnership work, but, as soon as you realize your non-negotiables are not ever going to be met, face the facts as soon as possible and move on. Dragging things out and trying over and over again to make an unworkable situation workable is just emotionally draining, painful, and drags out the inevitable. It also causes more pain because closer ties are formed and in the end you still need to leave. Get the **** out now, and save yourself some trauma.

7) Be open and transparent as to attract the same in a partner. Save both of you lots of time and hassles by laying all your card on the table from the beginning. Relationships are not a game; you are not trying to trick someone into loving you. If you are, or you think that by hiding all your bad they will love you, go get help NOW and heal that shit already.

8) If the relationship makes you feel less than worthy, not valuable, not good enough, it might be time to move on. This one is a bit trickier. If you are feeling these negative emotions you first need to clear and heal these things within you. This is all you baby. Once you heal this, and the situation still makes you feel this way, get out. You will always create situations to validate your beliefs about yourself. Once the belief has been upgraded, so must your relationship, and if it doesn’t shift, its time to move on.

9) No amount of pretending, looking away, wishing, hoping is going to change things or make them better. If things are not great, open your eyes and accept them, be strong, have the courage, and love yourself enough to see the truth and move right on along. Even when it’s hard, choose YOU.

10) Bottom line… relationships are all about love. Not the love you get from the other person, but the love you have for yourself. If the situation is not loving and nurturing to your soul, you need to choose love, not the love that is hurting you, but the only love that really matters. LOVE YOU! AND CHOOSE WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. Once you have mastered this, it is easy and natural to love another in a healthy, supporting, nurturing way. You have to master self-love first.

Breaking up is never easy, but sometimes it is the only way. By taking this step and taking a stand for you, you are showing the ultimate love for you and them, you are setting both of you free to find a true match.

This break-up was very hard but, thinking back, it was filled with so much love, and I appreciate all that love and support beyond measure. There was no animosity, only wanting the best for each other and ourselves. It was a blessed union even with all the mismatches.

I invite you to use your break-ups and look into them to reveal your jewels of wisdom and knowledge.

I would love to hear from you and your experiences. Please share your nuggets below in the comments section. I look forward to hearing from you.

Love Love Love

Salenta

Mastering the Art of Loving Her Moods

Moods, you know them well, and a good man knows how to navigate them. You may not understand them but you don’t have to. 

To you, she never knows what she wants, one minute you are her hero and another she hates you. Her crying and emotions are sometimes just too much for you. She is often closed down, rigid, moody. She yells and screams and does not show the respect you deserve. She is nagging and degrading, and sometimes it feels like she wants to chop your balls right off.

Don’t let this scare you. She is just testing you and she does not even know it. You are just seeing her strength manifest in a different way. This is your opportunity to shine.

Woman are simple, they want the space to show their emotions, and then they want a good, strong, man to love them anyway, and love them through that emotion.

They don’t need to be fixed, they don’t need your help or sound advice. All they want is your love, your support and possibly a firm embrace.

YOU have the power to change your woman. By loving her through her moods you navigate to the promised land. This action brings deep devotion, deep connection and deep trust. She knows she can count on you.

You have the power to transform her in the midst of her moods. You have the strength to calm the storm.

You can know what she wants when she does not even know what she wants!!

Love and relationship can be easy and adventurous. In fact, they should be!!

When she flows like the tides and you harness your true authentic masculine power, the world of possibilities opens up to both of you, and not only will your woman open to you, so will a sea of endless opportunity in all areas of your life.

Love Love Love

Salenta

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