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Attracting The Right Partner (Being Yourself Fully!!) – LoveExpanded Challenge 148

For all you mystical people out, or you with particular gifts, and are disappointed you are not finding someone compatible or on your vibration, this video is just what you were looking for.

Attracting The Right Partner

For more of these be sure to subscribe on YouTube to watch daily. 

Love, love, love

Salenta

BALANCING POLARITY IN RELATIONSHIPS – Masculine vs Feminine Energy | LoveExpanded 137

BALANCING POLARITY IN RELATIONSHIPS – Masculine vs Feminine Energy | LoveExpanded 137

Let’s get first things straight – masculine and feminine energy have nothing to do with gender!! But it has everything to do with balancing polarity in relationships.

Cultivating both of these energies within you, gaining maturity in both energies, allows you to play with a full toolset of both the creative (feminine) and the implementation (masculine) enriches and builds a successful life.

It allows you to draw on the strengths of both, being firm but flexible, being logical and confident, but open and reciptice to new ideas. The play between these two forces in your life is constant from the moment you wake up to the time you go to sleep again. Being aware of how each influences you allows power to gain influence over yourself and understanding of your partner. You become the badass you know you are. And your relationship dynamics start to shift.

The video sums it up.

Connect to the whole LoveExpanded collection here.

If you desire to learn more about the masculine and feminine energies within you I have worked extensively the last 10 years both personally and with clients to understand and utilize/integrate this concept into their lives, I cannot begin to explain the difference even the awareness of this makes, let alone the implementation. 

Love, love, love

Salenta

WHAT IS REAL LOVE & HOW TO GET IT? – LoveExpanded Challenge Day 136

WHAT IS REAL LOVE?

Ever wondered what real love is in the depths of loneliness, despair, or an argument with someone you are “supposed” to love but feel the furthest thing from love at that moment. 

Well, I asked ‘you’ what real love is and these are the answers you gave me. Yes, they are shortened but you get the gist. The complete list is mostly on this thread so check it out to get the essence of what each of you shared. I am honored to be on this planet with all you LOVERS loving boldly and courageously even when it’s hard.

And although real love may be ice-cream and bacon on some days, other days it’s a lot deeper.

After 10 years of studying love, living from love as best I can each day (yes there are ups and downs and some days that look far more “loving” and “expanded” than others) I continue to be awed by the power love has in all its many forms and expressions.

Please share what real love is to you.

Follow the complete LoveExpanded Series here. 

Love, love, love

Salenta

How To Have More Self-Acceptance – LoveExpanded Challenge Day 3

Do you motivate yourself through fear or love? How to have more self-acceptance is a topic everyone faces because the default is to be hard on oneself. Well, stop it already!! Although motivating oneself through love is a more effective option, motivation through fear is by far the more common.

If you are raising little humans or yourself, I encourage and invite you to have more self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is as easy as acknowledging where you are in your successes and the places you can improve on. You might think by acknowledging and accepting the behavior you want to improve on you are condoning it, but actually, the opposite is true. By acknowledging where you with no judgment you do accept it, yes, but more importantly, you are creating a soft, loving, compassionate place to move forward and improve from.

Self-acceptance is love. Being hard on yourself is not love.

Practicing self-acceptance is one of the best ways to love yourself and the more you practice it the easier it becomes. And by practicing self-acceptance you make it a habit.

Mom moments, mom guilt, and all the other things life throws you might pile onto yourself, I invite you to let it all go for a moment. Allow it to dissolve and embrace the lightness that can follow when you shift this to a place of love instead.

Conscious Relationships

Conscious relationships start with how you love yourself. Conscious relationships relate to all relationships you have including the ones with your children. 

If conscious relationships are of interest to you and how to have more love starting with you, then the LoveExpanded Membership Site might be what you have been looking for. It launches early Spring 2019. Get on the list to receive early content and exclusive premium offers.

Watch all the videos here on YouTube and subscribe to be notified when a new video is uploaded.

Happy loving.

Love, love, love

Salenta

How To Be A Master Of Love – LoveExpanded Challenge Day 2

How to be a master of love? I have asked this question for 10 years now and have been studying, interviewing, researching and living from love as much as possible. My goal this year was to expand my love, and even though I focused on it this challenge makes it REAL yo! This is day 2 of the love expanded challenge, also called the LoveExpanded challenge or love expanded for short.

As a love consultant and coach, self-love is very important to me. Loving yourself and knowing how to love yourself is the cornerstone to any successful relationship.  A relationship takes more than just love to work, although love is one of the key components, respect, acceptance and many other factors make a good relationship. Before you can have respect and acceptance for another you have to have love, self-acceptance, and self-respect for yourself.

You and I are both lovers at heart, all humans are. It is all the other “stuff” piled on top of it that hides this. Life experience can also get in the way. How you received love as a child or the lack of love you received as a child all plays into how you love now. Sometimes how you love now is not healthy because of this conditioning and modeling. How you love is not your fault at the start, but how you love now is in your control.

You have control to change the way you love. You have control to change the way you give it, what you allow, what you accept and how you reciprocate. Yes, at the core you are love, but how you display it is practiced.

If you know this is an area you can work on, you are in the right place… welcome fellow lover!! This site, this challenge, and this work is all for you to guide you to be the lover you already are at your core. Love, love, love, you. The member site will be up and running soon for exclusive content and a new course to do just this.

The LoveExpanded Membership Site is in construction and will be up early Spring 2019, join our list to get updates.

(Side note)  This challenge is expanding not only my love, buy myself too. My resistance to making video has been strong and this project is a way to discover how to get over the fear of making video and how to find my voice.

What are you afraid of?

I challenge you to take on your fears too and overcome them by diving in and doing them. Action dissolves fear.

Please leave a comment if this was helpful to you and subscribe to YouTube to get notified when the next video is uploaded.

Here is a link to the first post in the series called How To Love Myself Again.

Love, love, love

Salenta

How To Love Myself Again – LoveExpanded Challenge Day 1

How to love myself again after surgery and not feeling so great. This is the first day of my LoveExpanded Challenge.

It’s easy to love myself when everything is going well, but a lot harder to love myself again when life hits full force. But, when life hits, this is the very time to love myself again with even more force than before.

Life feels like it’s been hitting hard the last 3 years with my health being one of the areas feeling off. Even though I had been eating well (organic, grass-fed, little to no gluten, low sugar) I still did not feel 100%. When I was doing a cleanse I felt good, as soon as I stopped, I would feel terrible. A few weeks ago things go bad. For someone who has always been healthy and into all things natural, I got a headache that would not go away. After going to conventional doctors with all sorts of test and still no solution, I went within and asked my body what the deal was. The answer I got back surprised me, my breast augmentation, it was poisoning me.

I read about breast implant illness a year or so ago and was planning to get my implants out early 2019, but this increased the urgency. Could this really be making me sick? The first 5 symptoms on the list I had, but the list had so many things on it that the first time I read through it I discounted it.

I took a chance and had the surgery. THE NEXT DAY THE HEADACHE WAS GONE. Coincidence? I think not.

This is my 365-day journey to recovery, but more importantly, my journey exploring love, self-love, inner love, conscious love, fierce love, partner love, romantic love and all the other loves in between.

When one says “love” the first place the mind goes is Romantic Love. But love is so much more. THIS CHALLENGE IS MY WAY OF demonstrating all types of love first hand in an upfront live and personal way.

This challenge uncovers, demonstrates, and shows how to incorporate love into every area of life to live a more fulfilled, satisfied, and even productive life.

This is the first video in the 365-day series. Catch them all!

Subscribe on YouTube to get notified each time a new video is uploaded.

Harvard Study On What Actually Makes Us Most Happy & Healthy

When it comes down to it, being more connected and having someone in your life you know you can count on, not only creates more happiness now in your life, but also predicts how healthy you will be in old age.

Here are some highlights from this study that tracks 724 men over 75 years. 60 of these men are still alive, most in their nineties, with one of the participants being a US president.

Good relationships make us happier and healthier.

Important messages and 3 Big lessons from this study. Some of the highlights.

  • Social connections are really good for us, and loneliness kills. 7:50
  • Loneliness is toxic. 7:58 (1 in 5 people are lonely at any given time.)
  • It’s the quality of your close relationships that make all the difference. 8:40
  • Conflict is really bad for our health. High conflict marriages without much affection is worst for us than getting divorced. 8:51
  • Living in loving relationship is protective. 9:02
  • How satisfies you are in your relationships predicts how long you will live and how healthy you will be at old age.  9:09
  • Good close relationships buffer us from physical pain.  9:45
  • Being in a good secure relationship in your 80’s, where you really feel like you can count on the other person in times of need, those people’s memories are better longer. 10:25

Conclusion, foster and put time into your relationships now for more well being in all areas of life.

Love Love Love

Salenta

10 Fundamental Keys to A Successful Long Term Marriage/Partnership

There are many reasons people get married, and falling in love with someone is only one.

Others get married to not be alone, for convenience, for citizenship, for land ownership in foreign countries, for children, for money, and everything in between.

But if you truly want to have a fulfilling relationship where both partners are on the same page, with the capability to work through the inevitable rocky storms that will ensure, some fundamental things have to be in place for a successful partnership that stands the test of time.

There are many reasons marriages do not work, and I’m not convinced it’s the institution that’s to blame, I believe it’s the people within them lacking the skills to navigate such an arrangement that is more likely the culprit.

I recently saw this post on Facebook.

“When I see people younger than 30 getting engaged I just want to yell, “ruuuuunnnnnn!” Or “your first marriage will be a good learning experience… try to wait to have kids.” Am I too cynical?”

While I am all for waiting a few years to get hitched, especially living in Utah, on the other hand, the idea that age has anything to do with a successful relationship is a bit naïve too.

I work with people on their second, third or fourth marriages, ages ranging from 20’s to 60’s and age has very little to do with anything. There are 60 year olds who still have not got themselves or relationships figured out yet.

What I have found is there are some key factors that make relating and navigating any relationship, especially an intimate one, vital.

The following factors are essential for the possibility of a lasting long-term relationship and partnership, and a happy life. (The last is just a bonus)

First, you need to know why you want to get hitched. Not that any reason is better than another, but knowing brings awareness, and once you know why, then you better know how to proceed.

Discussing this and bringing it to the surface before the knot is tied if possible, reveals expectations (usually there a boat load more) and you can agree or disagree if those works for each party.

When two people get together unspoken agreements are made, this way you are conscious instead of unconscious of what is really going on beneath the surface.

Second, what are the subtle hidden insecurities? Clearing and addressing these insecurities before the big day, or after, opens the space for a healthier clearer start and future.

It eliminates greatly you projecting all your funk onto the other person and brining things that can be avoided into the mix.

Ideally, addressing these and clearing them with someone who knows how makes for even smoother roads. Just knowing and then blaming stuff that comes up on the insecurities is not productive.

Don’t hide behind them, but resolve and move forward in love and openness instead.

Third, honesty. Make an agreement to always be honest. I mean taking honesty to a whole new level. Not just telling the truth, but telling the sometimes brutal truth, and nothing but the truth.

Telling it how it is even if you might hurt the others feelings. Not hiding or keeping things from the other to protect them. Always coming from love and sharing in a loving way, but, knowing that being honest is the most loving thing you can do.

Forth, being transparent and not taking the other persons stuff personally. People see right through you anyway, if you want to believe it or not. So, lay your cards out on the table. Don’t hide, be upfront. This goes along with honestly, but, it goes deeper.

This means you allow each other to talk about your deepest feelings and insecurities, hurts and pains, and can tell the other how you are feeling without taking it personally.

You realize what you are hearing from the other is their experience and probably has nothing to do with you, and if it does, have the maturity level to look at yourself and address it.

Firth, have a firm sense of self. Know who you are. This is an unfolding, and age does play into this, but it’s more about allowing your true self to come forward. Exploring who you are, accepting who you are, and being okay with you just as you are today – self-love.

Once you do this, you will attract someone who is most likely in the same place, (please pick someone in the same place) and you are 100% further ahead than most couples. And if you are not in this place, start working at fining out who you are and loving what you find, it is never too late.

Sixth, discuss the idea of purpose within the relationship. Being in such close proximity with another human will bring up all sorts of “stuff” and is an excellent place for you to grow and evolve.

Being aware of purpose, and discussing what the purpose within your partnership is, separately and joined, makes for common goals and objectives. These will change and morph as time goes on, and as each of you change, so keep in mind this is not a one time thing.

Having a common goal is one of the main things that happy and successful partnerships have.

My favorite purpose for relationships: deciding this is a container and vehicle for growth, a place of free expression with both of you constantly striving to express more of who you are and growing within this. You will show me areas I can improve on, and I will show you this too, all in a loving supportive way.

Seventh, bring consciousness and awareness into the partnership.
I cannot tell you how many people I have spoken to who are divorced or getting divorced who only got married because it seemed like the next thing to do. There was no real thought that went into it.

All the things stated above require a level of consciousness and awareness, but, if this is new to you. Work on it. Find out what this is and what it means, and get to adding into your life.

Be aware of why you do things. Ask why. What’s really behind this feeling, behavior, or action? How is this thing the other person is doing really about me, and not them?

Instead of always blaming them when things go wrong, turn it onto you first. Use the relationship as a way to grow and expand, clean house, and become the best version of you. Not because they want you to be, but because you want to be.

Ask if you are projecting your insecurities and “stuff” onto them, and pretty much 99% of the time, the answer will be, you are.

Get to work on YOU, and something magical will happen, suddenly the other person will change too.

Eight, emotional maturity. Oh boy, this is a biggy. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, to share, and be open with your feelings. Emotional maturity is really a culmination of the things on this page, but it also includes being emotionally available.

How you do this is allow yourself to feel. Be brave enough to share those feelings openly and honestly, with yourself first, and then your partner. Cultivate listening and being genuinely interested in your partner. Set a time aside regularly to just talk and explore each other, like you would a friend.

Being available means you are there for each other on an emotional level, if you do not understand the other, work at it, ask more questions, ask them what they need from you, and then do your best to do it, even if it’s hard and feels uncomfortable. No hiding.

Sixth, accountability. Take responsibility for your own shit, own it, no projecting your stuff onto them. Next time you accuse them of something, turn it around to you and ask if you have this trait. It’s usually something within you, you are not satisfied with that is annoying you in them.

Address it in you first, and see what happens. You will be surprised it might just vanish in them automatically.

Nine, ability to get over yourself. The world does not revolve around you. Not everything is about you and most likely when there is something up with your partner, it has nothing to do with you.

Hear them, remove yourself from the equation and be there for support. Show them love, ask them questions and see how you can both work through the issue together. This means dropping the defenses, excuses and need to validate yourself, your wounds and your actions. Be open instead for solutions and growing together.

Ten, be in an attitude of serving, what can I give, not what can I get. You would be surprised to see what happens when you shift your attitude. Maybe you have been together for months or years, no matter.

Consciously shift into a mindset of what can I do to make the other persons experience better? What can I do to serve them today and show I care for them and love them?

These can be little and big things, and they make the world of difference. They not only cultivate love, but passion and admiration too. Both of which will fade with time if not actively cultivated and grown.

Happy loving. And make this fun, use your partnership to grow and evolve personally and together too, it’s fun, challenging, and will bring you closer than ever before.

An extra tip for success… LIGHTEN UP!! Life is serious enough, your relationship does not have to be. Add playfulness and lightheartedness into the mix, especially when exploring and navigating some of these areas that may be harder for you.

Life is more fun with copious amounts of joy… so add in joy and start laughing at all your silliness instead of crying or yelling. I dare you 😉

Love Love Love
Salenta

Forgiveness – 3 Steps to Release the Past and Get the Relationship You Desire

Forgiveness is Key to releasing the old and letting the new in. 

 

If you find yourself in the same situation, different face, this might just be your golden ticket off the train and onto getting what you truly desire.

Find more peace, lighten up, and feel better now.

love love love

Salenta

Feel More Safe With Better Boundaries…

I write for other magazines too…  this article is published @ www.overthemoonmag.com. Start reading here and find the rest at the link.

“Until you feel safe within, nothing outside will feel safe and secure. He or she might promise you the world, and even deliver, but you will still feel insecure and want more, their offerings never being enough.

Can you relate?

Safety is your foundation. It’s the core — from here everything else is built. Only when you have this within can you feel it from others.

Safety and love go together. You tend to seek safety from love, or more like your lover. But this only holds true when applied to YOU. You feel safe when you love yourself and create good boundaries, and you do that by loving yourself.

The more you LOVE YOURSELF, the easier it is to create safety within you. The more love there is, the more safety there is.

How do you get this safety from within if someone on the outside cannot provide it to you?

Let’s first establish where safety is NOT found:

Safety is not found in gripping to what you know, or the past.

Safety is not found in… Continue Reading

Love love love

Salenta