I recently signed up for a dating site and have been perusing the offerings. Besides being heartily entertained by reading profiles, and more grateful than ever for the man I have, I noticed something. I have come across this same theme in my coaching too.
A lot of people are looking for someone just like them.
I’ll give you a little excerpt of the good stuff I found “Just looking to meet a down to earth, hard working WOMAN, is that soo much to ask for?? I am hard working, down to earth and very simple.” This is of course an exaggerated example but most descriptions are not too far off.
Yes, like attracts like, but how would it be for someone looking for a partner, to be open to other possibilities? How would it be if we were open to spending time with a type of person we had never considered before? I often hear the phrase “All the good one’s are taken”, or “There are no good men/woman around this town”. Could it be that with your blinders on all you see is the lack of good partners? Blinders are put on a horse to keep him focused, to eliminate any possible distractions, and to stop him from getting spooked.
Well my friends, lets take those blinders off and welcome a little spooking into our lives. Instead of focusing on a specific type of person, focus on the feeling you would like to experience when with someone. Be distracted, be very distracted by all the interesting people out there to learn from and just have a good time with. By opening up to new possibilities you may find the world a more exciting place than you thought, you may discover things you never knew you liked. If nothing else, you are sure guaranteed more clarifying on what is really important to you.
There is one even more powerful thing that happens when you open yourself up to just having fun. When you start dating to just date, you loose the attachment of finding ‘the one’. You loosen up, you let things flow more easily and you are not so uptight about how things need to look at any point in time.
Live on the edge a little. Go date someone you would never have considered before. It may be you only date Caucasians, or Asians, or small town girls/guys. What is it you are afraid of? You may be surprised by the variety and fun you are missing out on.
The thing is, most of us don’t even realize we are doing it, we instantly disqualify someone from the race before they have even left the starting blocks. I invite you to take note of the next time this happens and open to something new. Try it out, it may just be a flavor you like. And, if its not, there is nothing lost, just an experience and some added clarity gained.
Wouldn’t it be refreshing, next time I find myself on one of those sites to read, “Come as you are. Bring all of you, your whole self. I want to experience what you like, show me something new I’ve never before experienced. I’ll bring what I have to offer, you bring what you have to offer and lets make magic in this kitchen of life. Things may get a little too hot and spicy for my liking, or maybe be too bland, but at least next time I’ll know exactly what to add to make the perfect dish.”
Lets open our minds and hearts to new possibilities and see what magic we might just let in.
love love love,
ps… please leave a comment.