Do You Believe You Have “To Do” To Be Loved?

Do you have a belief that to be loved, or lovable, you have to prove yourself? And you prove yourself by DOING?

You “DO” all day long, you serve, you give, but not because you want to, but because you feel this is what you “HAVE” to do in order to be loved or even be considered lovable. Sound familiar?

You might think you do all those things for the one’s you love out or pure service, but if you have the belief that you have to “DO” to be loved, your service is actually driven by obligation and duty than out of love.

The different is subtle, but SO very important.

If you escaped this trend, good for you, but more than likely, you saw someone you loved “EARNING” love in this way.

And that’s what it is, earning love. Do you feel like you have to earn love? Do you feel that just on your own, as you are right now, without doing anything, you are good enough for love? Could that be possible?

If you have this belief, it’s okay, you are not alone, but it is blocking you from having the free flowing, abundant love you desire.

This belief brings a heaviness to it, and is laden with obligation, strings attached, and expectations. “If I DO all these things for you, in exchange you have to love me.” It’s not pure, it’s not fresh, it’s not light and free.

Yes, you want to serve and be served within your love relationships, but you want to do it freely and have it done freely, if it’s not done in this pure manner, it’s not really love. It could be a range of other great emotions but love is not one of them.

The problem with “DOING” to be love is you can never do enough to receive the amount of love you desire. It will never feel like you are getting enough.

Firstly, because the other person is most likely oblivious to the unspoken arrangement. They have no clue what is going on, and because of this, might not play along in the way you would like. They might be bad at exchanging in this way. They probably will not love you because you do anything.

Secondly, even if they did love you for doing all you do, you most likely won’t feel it or recognize their love because ultimately, you do not value yourself or feel you are worthy of their love.

Vicious cycle huh?

Yeah, it does not feel good to either person involved. You don’t feel good because no matter how much you do, it’s never enough to get the love you desire. And it does not feel good for the other person because the exchange is heavy and feels needy and filled with obligation.

So how do you get out of this cycle?

First, bring these beliefs to your awareness now, explore them, see all the ways you try to earn love, all the things you do because you think you should do them, instead of doing them because it feels good to do them.

Secondly, see and feel these ideas floating away, and in their place, a new thought appears, a thought that you are lovable just as you are. 

You are lovable just by being you.
You are lovable just by showing up.
You are lovable just by breathing.

You do not have to DO anything to earn or prove your worthiness to receive love. 

Say to yourself, “I am enough just as I am.” Say this each morning and each night before bed until you believe it, until it is a part of you. I am going on three years saying mine every night and morning, I replace the affirmations every year or so. It works, but you have to be consistent, even when you think you don’t need to say them anymore, do it anyway.

Each time you find yourself not feeling worthy or love, say it again.

You have a lifetime of the other thoughts dominance, it will take persistence, consistency and repetition to reprogram the new thought and belief, but it can be done.

Thirdly, you can clear the old thought out using QEC (Quantum Emotional Clearing), speeding up the process and clearing out the old attachments and habitual responses making way for the new input.

From this place of being enough, you can express your love in all the ways you desire, and your expressions will be pure, they will be clean, and from this clear space, like energy will come streaming to you.

Love will come streaming to you.

The motives behind what you do make all the difference, even when on the surface everything might look the same. 

Ill motives or energies block the pure flow of love to you and from you.

Addressing these motives, becoming aware of them, and shifting them will in turn shift your experience with love, making it more pure and free flowing.

Practice and play with the affirmations, if a clearing session is in order, schedule one today with me or someone else.

I am deeply honored to share this message with you.

Happy loving.

Love Love Love